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Ummæli
john wick but its markiplier
the alarm is perfect for a robber with tinnitus
Nobody: No one ever: Me: Him: I👏LIKE👏MY👏ASS👏THE👏IT👏IS👏
Or robbers can use these...
Toys
forget the objects use the dumy head
4:21 I’m sorry but why is that so gosh darn cute?
0:21 “And If I can get a discount on ending someone else’s life you know I’m gonna take that chance” Me: *dieing of laughter*
Love the humour as always Mark. Though to be on the more serious side self defense should always be followed by common sense, research and not gimmicks. Not just a price tag. Example that whip, while a bit unorthodox, has actually been tested to do some damage. Well maybe "damage" isn't the right word but it's been proven it can hurt like a royal bitch. Kubatons have been around for years and if used correctly can be a useful tool. Personal alarms are really, really hit or miss. The compact staff isn't meant for defense, more of just a show off kinda fidget item. Could be used for light martial demo but eh ya, more like a BBQ fun item.
My psychiatrist : French markaplier can't hurt you he's not real French Markaplier : 3:34
What happened to your B to blow skillz...😉
Mark, y u so hilarious?!
1:27 I wonder if there is just like a big pile of trash outside that window
23:46
Mark and murder never gets old
Soooooooo much for his pet named steve
*dummy* GOD PLEASE NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Bro u really got me in tears rn when u hit urself with the purse Grenade😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀😂💀💀💀💀💀💀🤝
Makes money but very stuiped
So its super funny that he found a 10 pack of kubatons and when I went to one of his live shows I had to throw mine away. So I guess even though it not a weapon it still looks like one.
Mark: You're under attack! Me: *Confused screaming*
Anyone gonna talk about the fact that Markiplier's lighting in this video looks light It's from the 1994's
The *cheapest self-defense item that we all own* : KEYS. Fist them like Wolverine and use them to stab someone, if they get frisky, of course.
7:32 The *BEST* car accessory - EVER.
Mark says:Everyone at home should know that I am an absolute professional and you should not try this.Me:hmmmm no I doubt it
LMAO! I WAS DRINKING WATER THEN THE ALRAM CAME ON AND HIS REACTION MADE ME SPIT IT OUT EVERYWHERE! My mom was looking at me like "wtf really?! on my COUCH?!"
“Mark Jones and the Rubber Whip.”
New sub lol
„also apparently it’s a flashlight“ me: PANIK *shows it’s an actual flashlight* me: kalm
You remind me of Aizawa from mha
As mark proceeds to break the staff
Eh I’ll take the lethal option
Why could I smell the tough guy rubber through the phone. What camera do you use, I'm getting a gopro hero 7 with almost everything including waterproof camera thing and tripod and some other things
NICK BOLTON HERE WITH THE TACTICAL MARKIPLIER DESIGNED WITH THE NEEDS OF OUR MILITARY IN MIND THE TAC MARKIPLIER IS AN EASY TO USE, DANGEROUS MARKIPLIER SO IN A TACTICAL SELF DEFENSE SITUATION, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SELF DEFEND
Pog
I should be probably study but I'm watching this laughing my guts out
You you could just carry a gun!?!?
Everyone gangsta till' the *Zapper stick is actually enchanted with electrocute III*
the wallet is basically just the ullapool caber irl
We all know that Mark was tazing himself off camera.
23:53 did he notice that’s a window breaker lol no offense
When are you and Ethan going to start making videos again? You know you want to. We know we want it too.
You wouldnt wanna watch Thelma and Louise, without Louise... Would you?
This content already has 5.2 mil views 😂😂😂
the wallet paddle. he needed to fallow through and it wouldn't hurt him.
Mark: some ppl mistake me for a masochist Also mark 2 secs later : *proceeds to hit himself after saying “ouch”*
He is Joe Swanson.
I knew it the second he looked at the head he was going to hit himself in the head with it. I would have done the same.
Ha
“You got to keep your account aselfable”
The first 5 minutes of this video are editing GOLD. Laughed my face off
That mescreaming when I have homework
The first three minutes of the shit is funny as all hell
Is nobody gonna talk about how good Mark’s singing was at 20:08?! Pretty good for someone who’s about to die😆
MARK: there is no, i repeat no reason people would think i am a masochist!!! ALSO MARK: what are you going to do with a stainless steel whip and my tender butt master???
mark enchanted his wapper with zap II
Love u hair
Hey they sell tazers and 22 pellet rifles. Both of which can be used with lethal force if used in the "INCORRECT" way..... Mmmhmmm right.. """"""incorrect""""""".... Anyway they are considered armed weapons and in some states pellet rifles are treated like fire arms. I mean nothing says safe like a small bullet being projected by air at over 1000fps towards your flesh and those pesky blood bags you call organs right?
me the whole video ErEn YeAgEr
20:36 *megalovania intensifies
Mark pls play yandere simulator
"WAP-ability" - Markiplier, 2021
Dude saying he wants wap
Well this just made me want that fucking baton really badly.
i know how you fell mark those suck
LIKE AND SUB OR ELSE
XD he funny as uslaly srry about my spelling
10:59 Mark beats black man with a whip.
"Hello, this is 911, what is the em--- oh, hi, Amy... Mark again? And fire or ambulance?" Amy- "don't know, yet, just kinda would feel better if I had you on the phone, already...."
27:48
mora knife on amazon ease of use: pointy end forward speed: fast pain: yes lethality: depends where you poke cost: not lots overall 10/10
Markiplier dying inside 101
"... ward off predators or maybe attract a mate" those are the same thing...
Mark: I’m a PrOfEsiOnaLL Also Mark: swings whip like it’s a helicopter
Mark no provides links or even tells us most the prices but I enjoy it XDDD
mark is such a troll lol (watch till the end)
Couldn’t he have used the wallet as brass knuckles by wrapping it around his hand
Did anyone else notice how much base was added to his mic
remember. he isn't a masochist.
Lol man I love you Markiplier you make my day with these videos
i am only 15 secounds in and can't stop laughing i had to pause. it has been 5 minutes help.
test the taser mark, you know you want to
me: *watches start* mark , PLEASE DON'T KILL ANYONE MAKING THIS!
Things you can aford:Mark here is a 2 grand lip stick gun😂😂😂
this gives me unus annus vibes
If you tell me this is not joe from S8 the Infinity you are completely and utterly wrong
Yoooo, my mom got me the tactical pen for christmas
Tbh, a necklace, with a slightly thick chain, and a large cross (or other decoration) is much better than the bracelet. Just hide the knife as the large end of the cross, and yank it down.
It’s just a normal flashlight but make added Chaneling to it
3:17 Mark’s look at the camera made me laugh so hard
8:58 me in blood
you can stay safe from that rat ass tekashi
17:48 combat axe in call of duty
DECKMAN isn't real, he can't hurt you.... This video:
Just duel wield the first 2
Why is he like po from kungfu panda
am i the only one who added it to bookmark?
I think that alarm was for attracting people for help when you are getting robbed
Oh! There you are... i once bought a sausage.. felt very well protected.. by the salami brand bandits..
Why were you beating up a black face, Mark? Isn't that racist? And all these weapons look like Bondage and Discipline play items. Maybe you could try WalMart defense items. I always liked the belt buckle that when you pull them, shoot bullets. Where do you get those?
That tactical dummy is a masochist no doubt 😂😂